Case. Both widowed, they married after sixty. A year in, the wife admitted she felt compared to the late spouse — photos in the house, habits, “she used to do it differently”.
Model. A new system deployed on top of living memory of the old one. Memory is neither a rival nor legacy to delete: erasing it breeds resistance, living inside it blocks the new.
What helped. They agreed on “museum and home”: memory got its place and its days (anniversaries, albums), the new marriage got its own. Comparisons were named aloud and retired.
Lesson. A second marriage does not cancel or compete with the first. It works alongside memory — when each has its own territory.