Case. One partner regularly criticizes the other’s appearance “as a joke”; the other shuts down and pulls away.
Model. Contempt is one of the most destructive “horsemen”. Each remark writes off more from the emotional bank than it seems.
What helped. They acknowledged the harm of the “jokes”; replaced criticism with acceptance and support; restored the safety of being oneself.
Lesson. Home should be a place where you don’t have to defend yourself from your partner.
See The Four Horsemen.