Non-commercial research project since 2019

Engineering fault-tolerant marriages

No ultimatums. No vulnerabilities. Protected from external attacks. We translate reliability engineering into the language of family — and help couples get through crisis.

systemctl status marriage.service
$ systemctl status marriage.service
● marriage.service — long-running relationship unit
   Active: active (running)
   Health: peers balanced, backups current, no unresolved SEV-1

Our mission

We help couples save the marriage and get through a crisis rather than run from it. Young families often marry on infatuation and split within 1–3 years, when the euphoria fades — mistaking it for “falling out of love”. We show that fading feelings are normal and the start of real love, and we help resolve crises through psychology and faith — without the fashionable “at the first trouble, divorce”.

It is not “hold on at any cost”, but gently carrying a couple through a natural crisis toward mature love.

The method

We analyze a marriage as a high-load system: it has an architecture, a perimeter, points of failure and recovery protocols. We don't teach you how to live — we study why systems fall and how the ones that run for decades are designed.

The problem, in numbers

~8 in 10
marriages in Russia end in divorce (order-of-magnitude estimate)
Источник: Rosstat, 2024
46%
cite financial strain among reasons for divorce
Источник: VCIOM, 2024
Key factor
relatives' interference in the breakup of young families

Four protocols

Hard topics we work with

We don’t avoid the difficult. Interethnic marriage, stepchildren, money and housing, silence, inability to talk, escaping into addiction — each has an analysis and a protocol.

Interethnic marriage Stepchildren Money & housing Silence Not talking Addictions

All hard topics

Wisdom of traditions and science

We impose no views. But both faith and psychology agree on one thing: a marriage is worth cherishing and restoring, not destroying at the first storm.

“And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.”

Quran, Ar-Rum, 30:21

“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Gospel of Matthew, 19:6

“…And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them, perhaps you dislike a thing in which God has placed much good.”

Quran, An-Nisa, 4:19

“Love is patient, love is kind… It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

“Immature love says: ‘I love you because I need you.’ Mature love says: ‘I need you because I love you.’”

Erich Fromm, The Art of Loving

“A strong marriage rests not on the absence of conflict, but on the ability to recover after it.”

after Gottman Institute research
💬 Elders' tip of the day

“With money, sit on the same side of the table against the problem, not against each other. Transparency beats the balance in the account.”

Wisdom of long marriages → · Ask the elders →

📖 Story of the week 15 years together

“We learned to talk without attacking”

Communication

Read couples' stories →

Wisdom of long marriages — for those together 1–3 years

Couples with 5, 10, 15 and 20+ years behind them share how they got through crises and what they advise the young. Anonymized.

Read couples' wisdom →

Dating for years but not marrying?

A questionnaire that honestly shows whether you're heading toward marriage — or just occupying each other's place and losing years. Time to decide.

Marry or part →

Marriage preparation

Screening before a serious step: dependencies (alcohol, gambling), self-control and faithfulness, personal maturity, readiness for a lasting union. Based on psychology and traditional values.

Start preparation →

Understand your marriage more deeply

Build a portrait of your couple, follow a structured program, and look into the wisdom of traditions.

🗺️ Marriage map 🎓 Marriage school 🕊️ Wisdom of traditions

Analysis of the day

incident-postmortem

Infidelity revealed: the first days

What to do in the acute phase when trust collapses all at once.


Submit a case anonymously

Your situation can become an anonymized analysis and help others. We publish anonymized only and don’t consult individually.

How to submit a case

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