incident-postmortem · 2026-05-10
Where the line runs between “we stayed friends” and a threat to the marriage.
Case. One spouse keeps a close tie with an ex-partner; the other feels threatened.
Model. An open port to an external system that once had high access. Even without ill intent, it’s a risk and a source of anxiety.
What helped. Transparency and an agreement on boundaries comfortable for both; the priority is the current couple’s safety.
Lesson. “We’re just friends” doesn’t cancel the partner’s right to peace of mind.
See Roles & access.
Case is synthetic and anonymized; any resemblance to real people is coincidental. Not therapy or legal advice.
The son and his wife moved in “for six months” — and the couple’s system stopped being a couple’s.
A parent of one spouse died — and the couple found they grieve out of sync: one cries, the other “holds up”, and both are lonely.
Why “relaxing” turns into escape, not rest.
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