hard topics
Escaping into addiction
Instead of solving problems, one partner escapes into alcohol, smoking or other addictions. It numbs rather than solves.
The problem
Instead of solving problems, one partner escapes into alcohol, smoking, gaming or other addictions. It is a way to numb, not to solve: the problem stays and grows.
How we see it
This is a reboot instead of a fix — the symptom is muted for a while, but the bug doesn’t disappear, it worsens. It is escape from the problem, not its solution and not rest.
What to do
- Name it plainly: addiction is not relaxation but escape from the unresolved.
- Find the real pain under the addiction (what exactly are we numbing?) and address it.
- To the partner: support is not cover-up. Boundaries and help are needed, not control and shame.
- For real addiction — a specialist (an addiction doctor, a psychotherapist). Asking for help is strength, not shame.
✗ Чего НЕ делать
- Don’t try to solve problems “at the bottom of a bottle” — they aren’t solved there.
- Don’t shame or lecture (it deepens the escape), but don’t cover up the destruction either.
- Don’t endure in silence — see “Silence and endurance”.
Support: real strength is to face the problem, leaning on loved ones, faith and, if needed, a specialist. On behavior in an acute crisis — the “Disaster recovery” protocol.
This is not therapy or legal advice. In an acute crisis see help contacts. Submit your story anonymously — here.