framework / disaster-recovery
Disaster recovery
The acute-crisis protocol: Safe Mode over Hard Reset, and no heavy requests to an overloaded partner.
The problem
At the peak of a crisis a partner is overloaded — work, money, health, conflict at once. That is exactly when the heaviest request often arrives: an ultimatum. A heavy request to an overloaded system takes it down for good.
The engineering model
A Hard Reset — divorce on emotion, a hard shutdown under load — almost always corrupts data. Safe Mode lowers load and keeps the core alive. Reduce load first, repair later.
Protocol
- Make no irreversible decisions in the first 24 hours.
- Switch to Safe Mode: quiet, basic routine, no ultimatums.
- Reduce external load; close the perimeter to advisers.
- Agree to discuss later, once the load drops.
✗ Чего НЕ делать
- Do not issue ultimatums to an overloaded partner.
- Do not perform a Hard Reset on emotion in the first 24 hours.
- Do not drag spectators into the incident.
Based on systemic family therapy and Gottman Institute research. Verify against primary sources.